I know we have all heard the saying that hurt people, hurt people. You hear this from so many people. You see it on social media, people are blogging about it. People are even writing books about it. It is almost as if we are giving people a pass to hurt others just because they are hurting and I am hear to tell you today that we need to stop it. If people are hurting, they need to seek professional care.
If a person is hurting from past trauma or past experiences then hurting another person will not fix the problem. They are now adding to the problem and have pulled another innocent person over on the side of hurting.
When a person feels like they have been hurt, it makes them feel vulnerable and in turn they become hostile and defensive. Instead of encouraging this cycle of hurt, we must learn to meet hurt with love.
Thick Naht Hanh said, “When another person makes you suffer, it is because he suffers deeply within himself and his suffering is spilling over. He does not need punishment; he needs help.”
This spoke to me on so many levels. We never know what people are going through and if we react in a hurtful way because we were hurt, we just become a world that is constantly hurting. If we choose to stop being passive aggressive and condoning the behavior and start actually aiding in helping to heal that person. Disclaimer, I am not a licensed counselor or psychologist, nor psychiatrist but I can be a loving human being. I can suggest speaking to someone and possibly seeking professional help.
When a person who is hurting in turns hurts you:
1) Acknowledge that you are hurt
2) Let the person know that they hurt you
3) Forgive the person for hurting you
4) Offer love and support for the person who is hurting
I chose to write about this after witnessing a person being hateful for no reason. The woman chose to respond in a manner that was unnecessary and actually uncalled for. We must remember that a “no” response is enough. As a human, we must set boundaries and no over exert ourselves. We have to choose when and who we can pour into but that never means that we need to hurt others and the process. As a result of the response, or lack thereof, made it clear that the person was now hurt as well.
As an outsider, I immediately recognized the hurt in both parties and I knew I had to share this post. So I challenge each of you, if you are hurting from things you are currently dealing with or if you holding on to some pain from the past, please seek professional care.