We live in a society where we allow others to set our goals for us. We allow the media to show us who we should be. We listen to others around us and allow them to provide insight on where we should be. We get judged by our looks and not by who we are. Partly because of everyone judging books by their covers and partly because we have stopped being honest to ourselves about who we are.
We teach our children that boys can’t do what girls can do and girls aren’t strong enough to do what boys do. Then we grow up complaining about men struggling to be fathers and why can’t they cook? At the same time questioning women who feel like they can’t compete with men in the workplace and they don’t know how to change a tire.
We have families whose households are completely chaotic and abusive, yet they get all dressed up to go to church on Sunday, all while physically and figuratively covering up the bruises and mental anguish. And these are the families who outsiders are striving to be because they live in a nice neighborhood and drive nice cars. Have you ever seen the hashtag #relationshipgoals?
We have our youth struggling with their identities and being bullied and ridiculed because they don’t fit the mold. We are told girls are either too skinny or don’t have enough curves. Boys are either too “aggressive” or not masculine enough. Our kids are becoming depressed and committing suicide.
Today I want you to look at yourself and say who I am? Then reply that you are a beautiful, unique, strong individual.
Mothers: You do not have to compete with any other mom. If you are a working mom like me and you are happy there don’t beat yourself up for wanting to work. You are not any less of a woman or mother for doing so. If you stay at home, don’t feel bad if you want a break to have a conversation with another human being that is of legal age to consume adult beverages. Breastfeeding is awesome for babies, but there are babies and children not eating. Let’s stop bashing others just because they are formula feeding. Be happy they are loving and caring for their baby. You never know, they may not produce enough milk and have no choice. They may just not be interested and they may just not want their nipples to be extra sore and be fearful of their breasts sagging. Being a mom is hard enough, let’s stop making it worse for our fellow moms.
I am a full time working mother. I love my job but I do sometimes feel guilty when I see other moms at every school event. I have also worked from home and I was able to spend lots of time with my child and I would live for the times I could have a coffee or lunch date with my friends without my daughter. I still enjoy the quiet times when I am kid free and enjoy the moments when she crawls up close to cuddle with me. I breastfeed and bottle fed. Mostly because my child has always had a mind of her own. It really just depended on the day. As a mom, as long as you are doing your best and your child is not abused or neglected, then you are doing awesome.
Women: You are beautiful just the way you are. Losing weight just be for health reasons or just to feel good about yourself, not because we live in a world where no size is good enough. Let’s teach our daughters and those in younger generations to be confident in who we are and love ourselves. And remember, it’s okay if you don’t have kids. Having kids does not determine your womanhood. Rather you choose not to have children or you have not had the opportunity to do so, it’s perfectly okay.
I have finally reached point in my life where I am learning to love myself just the way I am. I am working to be healthier and yes I want to look better naked but I am not stressing myself out about it.
Friends and Family: Stop trying to be more than you can. If your friend or family member keeps her house white glove clean and you don’t, it’s okay. Start being honest with yourself and your friends. If you can’t do it, then say so. If you want to do nothing instead of hanging out, then just do it.
In conclusion: Who are you and who are you trying to be? Let people see the real you. Flaws and all. The more you hide your flaws, the more difficult it is to address them. The first step is admitting it, to yourself and others. Be happy with your testimony, there are things about you that no one else could imagine. So be confident in who you are. Learn to love who the real you is. Share her with the world.