Have you ever been hurt by someone you loved? Has anyone ever did or said something to you that keeps replaying in your mind? And you can’t let go of it?
People tell you to forgive and forget but in your mind, you can’t. You may never forget but today I want to remind you of the importance of forgiveness.
Recently I attended a funeral. I watched a mother bury her daughter, kids burying their mother, and my sister bury her best friend. Not to mention, this is the third funeral in less than six months, my grandmother and an aunt were the other two. People that I have known from 17yrs to all my life. I am so grateful that I had no bad blood with any of them but I know there are others that I need to forgive and I am sure you too have your own list. So today I remind you that life is short and we must learn to be the bigger person by saying I am sorry for any pain or harm I have caused you and I forgive you for any pain or harm you have caused me.
Forgiveness is hard especially when you haven’t let go of that pain. As humans, we naturally feel better when we are angry with someone. We learn that it’s a lot easier to carry around that hurt and pretend that we are okay.
The first step is to make a list of the people who you are angry with and why. For some people, the list may be very long and for others, it may be one person. But take the time to think about starting with childhood to your current age. Think about the small things and the big things.
Next look through your list and write each person on your list a letter to explain why they hurt you. Tell them how you genuinely felt. Its okay if it’s a sentence or a 4-page essay. It’s okay to use curse words if necessary. It’s okay if you need to yell out or cry. But focus on being detailed and honest with your pain.
Now that you have identified who pained you and why you can begin the healing process. For some, it may be as simple as moving on, releasing the pain, and forgiving. For others, you may need to seek professional guidance as I had to. It will be a process, some people you will be able to forgive them and work on rebuilding the relationship. For others, you may never speak to them again. You may not even want to and that’s fine. The important thing is that you start working on how to forgive. Life is short, do not allow someone to live in your heart or in in in your life who has harmed or hurt you. Free yourself from that bondage. Many times the person doesn’t know or doesn’t care so forgive them and move on.
The hardest thing is holding it all in and walking around living two lives. Putting on the facade that everything’s fine when deep down you have hatred towards someone. You have the power to forgive and be free. So today, let go and fly away!